Week 5 Power Rankings

This week, the power rankings pain me. It pains me to put somebody I don't like at #1, and somebody I have been man crushing on since week 2 in last place. But alas, I have to rank it the way I see it. It's a tough game to read right now because nobody seems particularly great at the game. However, rank them we must. Onward!

1. Helen (Last week 4) - Here's what I can't figure out, is Helen actually running the house, or does she just think she is? Either way, she got Aaryn to do exactly what she wanted her to do, and that makes her the most powerful person in the house. On top of that, while she seems to be a powerful player in the house right now, she doesn't really seem to be on anyone's radar, which makes her the most dangerous player in the house.

2. Amanda (Last week 10) - Along with Helen, Amanda is one of the only two people who seems to really be able to get people to do what she wants in the house. The difference is that she's created a bit of a target on her back while she's doing it. Amanda has jumped around our rankings a lot. This is partially because she is creating targets on her back that we see some weeks more than others, and partially because the rankings change hands every week.

3. McCrae (Last week 6) - I struggled with whether to put him about or below Amanda. While Amanda's greatest weakness is the target on her back, it's also McCrae's greatest strength. He reaps all the benefits of Amanda's hard work, while keeping the target off of his own back. His greatest weakness is that if he is ever going to have the chance to win, he needs to show that he can play the game for himself. Otherwise, he'll be back to making $126 every two weeks.

4. Judd (Last week 1): While Judd drops a little bit after his HoH boost, he doesn't drop far. He showed that he knew what HoH was really about, it's not about taking out a target early, it's about coming out of the week in a better position then what you started. He managed to run his HoH while creating no new enemies, and gaining more trust with the people on his side of the house. He also gains bonus points for the epic bear shirt, although it may have been Aaryn tainted now.

5. Andy (Last week 3): Right now, Andy seems to be very good at this game. As much as you don't want a house full of floaters, staying out of the spotlight early on is incredibly smart. The question is, what happens when the numbers start to dwindle? When the spotlight gets harder to avoid, that's when we'll see what Andy is all about, that's when we'll see how good at this game he really is.

6. Candice (Last week 7): Candice's greatest weakness is also her greatest strength; her alliance. She is on the weak side of the house, and her alliance members are likely to start dropping off soon. At the same time, the targets on Howard and Spencers backs are so big that nobody is even thinking of Candice. By the time those guys are no longer targets, the house could potentially completely realign.

7. Jessie  (Last week 2): She got a boost last week for her association with Judd, but with 10 seconds of screen time an episode, how are we supposed to assess this girl? I'm not sure she has the personality to win, but I barely know her! She's like that foreign sounding thing on the menu, you want to try it, but you have no idea what it is and it could turn out to be a disaster.

8. Elissa (Last week 5): The "One-piece" incident showed exactly why Elissa will never win this game. She does not understand how her comments are perceived by other people. If you can't see how other people are perceiving events, and you aren't a competition warrior, you shouldn't expect to win. The sudden change in MVP fortunes for her could also put her in danger. I don't expect she'll be leaving soon, but I don't believe she has the necessary skills to win this game.

9. GinaMarie (Last week 11): GinaMarie has been fairly absent this week, which I'm okay with. Nick's been gone for two weeks, it's time to stop talking about him. While she's not in a whole lot of danger right now, GM has shown no ability to improve her position in the house, and is just along for the ride for a bit.

10. Aaryn (Last week 13): Aaryn has somehow escaped eviction again. She gets a temporary boost for winning HoH and saving herself for the week, but in the long term she may have put herself in more danger. She was saved because Kaitlin was a bigger competition threat, but now Aaryn has two HoH's under her belt. On top of this she hasn't used her HoH to make any friends, rather, she gave the power to Helen and Elissa, who are most likely going to discard her the first chance they get.

11. Spencer (Last week 8): Spencer has been dropping like crazy in the standings lately. When he first turned on the MC we thought he made the right decision to stay with the winning side of the house. It now appears that Spencer is still on the outside of the house, with very few friends. It pains me to say it, as he was my episode 1 pick, but Spencer is looking to be on his way out. If Howard gets vetoed, it may spell the end for #fearthebeard

12. Howard (Last week 9): Perhaps there's something that live feeders could fill us in on here. Howard seems like a great guy, who hasn't been a threat in a single competition. The target on his back appears to be based on either his large muscles, or his terrible attempt to cover up his involvement in the MC. Either way he's in some hot water this week, and as much as I hate to say it, he seems to be on his way out the door.

RIP Kaitlin

R.I.P. Kaitlin "But I'm from Minnesota" Barnaby

Tender of Bar

Owner of ALL the eye liner

Survived by the other half of the "Mean Girls Alliance"

Kaitlin took me on a bit of a roller-coaster during her short stay in the Big Brother house. A very insignificant and superficial roller-coaster. You know...like ones of those kids ones, with a theme, and no real drops, and it hasn't been maintained in 15 years and should probably be shut down...Anyways, I feel like the best way to articulate it, would be to post a timeline of my ‘Kaitlin related’ stream of consciousness. Mostly because I think that’s what J.D. Salinger would do, if he were alive and watched Big Brother (and If J.D. Salinger were alive, he would definitely watch Big Brother).

Ready?

“Wow, this is an exceptionally good looking cast. Particularly that Kaitlin girl!”

“It seems like everyone is set on pairing off this season. Except Kaitlin. She thinks she’s too good for all of the guys in the house. And I think she’s probably right.”

“Really? Jeremy? Kaitlin. I don’t know if you’re quite as hot as you think you are...but JEREMY?”

“I think Kaitlin just hooked up with Jeremy because she was bored, on TV, and he was standing closest to a camera.”

“I cannot believe how someone can go from unspeakably beautiful, to strange and peculiar, just by painting their eyebrows on crooked.”

“I don’t know if she was just standing too close to Aaryn, and she caught some of her stank, but I think Kaitlin might also be a giant bitch.” (I'm sorry Kaitlin...you CAN be both a bitch, and from Minnesota.)

“Oh great. We’re going to have to put up with Aaryn another week, so the house can evict Kaitlin, because Aaryn isn’t a threat to win HoH. I guess that makes sense...right?”

“............................” 

My favourite two things about Kaitlin’s stay in the Big Brother house, were her exit interview with Julie, where she basically admitted that she didn’t care to see Jeremy again, and she was just fooling around with him because the house didn’t have a Ouija board (at least that’s what I heard). And that the nickname I assigned early on in the game, ‘The Mean Girls’, stuck. Yes, I’m taking credit for that. I don’t care how obvious it was. 

Anyway, enjoy Vegas, Kaitlin. And in your memory...

Float On - Week 4 Power Rankings

1. Judd (Last week 9) - With the crowning of King J-U-Double D, the power rankings have been thrown asunder. Judd, having no real alliances in the house, has been able to grasp the power completely. After the nominations it's clear that Judd the Studd is not in the boat-shaking business. He realizes that right now it's not worth taking out any "big targets" because, frankly, there aren't any coming after him. He's so damn likeable and he plans to keep it that way.

2. Jessie (Last week 11) - Apparently her and Judd have a bit of a fling going. Honestly, I think they both could do better, but expect the unexpected! Right now Jessie is sitting pretty (but obviously not as pretty as she thinks she is).

3. Andy (Last week 7) - This week the floaters have floated to the top. Andy has continued his strategy of doing nothing of interest. He's on no one's radar and that is perfect for a week with an unexpected HOH.

4. Helen (Last week 2) - Helen was almost completely absent from this episode. Laying low could be a strategy of hers, or she could just be really boring and not warranting camera-time. Regardless, she got a big threat out of the house and seems to have made no enemies for it, kudos.

5. Elissa (Last week 8) - Elissa might be through the worst of the storm. Like Helen, Elissa seems to be laying low. This is smart. It will be interesting to see what happens with the twist when she loses her power though.

6. McCrae (Last week 4) - I never thought I'd say this, but Amanda has brought McCrae down. No major alliances have been formed since the moving company disbanded. This has drawn attention to the pairs that have populated the house. McCrae and Amanda are the closest pair right now and that could paint a target on both of their backs. But, McCrae is still in good with Judd so there's very little danger for him this week.

7. Candice (Last week 3) - After McCrae and Amanda the next closest pair seems to be Howard and Candice. Like McCrae, Candice is being pulled down by her better-half. Howard could be in trouble soon, and that will spell trouble for Candice.

8. Spencer (Last week 1) - Spencer's power rankings have been a roller coaster. Last week he played it smart with Helen, but this week he has mostly stayed away from Judd. This strategy works for someone like Andy who is on no one's radar, but Spencer has proven to be a threat. Him, Howard, and Candice are in trouble if one of them doesn't win HOH next week.

9. Howard (Last week 6) - Everyone's favourite, Howie, has dropped a few rankings this week. His name has been thrown around a lot. I don't think he'll be put up this week because Judd's his buddy, but he has half the house agreeing that he needs to go.

10. Amanda (Last week 5) - Oh, Amanda. We all know you're so smart, but Judd clearly doesn't respond to intelligence. She has pushed Judd way too hard. She should've just realaxed this week, she was perfectly fine. Just share a beer with him and realize that in the end he's going to make the easy call and put up the girls. If GinaMarie is put up by America, and then if the veto is used, I believe Judd will put up Amanda. She's a threat, and has really just annoyed him this week.

11. GinaMarie (Last week 13) - With Aaryn nominated GinaMarie is the next obvious choice for America's nomination. She's also racist, also annoying, and even crazier. And on the off-chance America puts someone else up, she will undoubtedly be Judd's replacement nominee if the veto is used. I think her reunion with Nick is rapidly approaching.

12. Kaitlin (Last week 12) - I feel like Kaitlin is the victim of her circumstance. She chose her ally's about as poorly as possible. I don't believe she will be leaving this week, but she seems unable/unwilling to try and improve her situation and for that she remains at the bottom.

13. Aaryn (Last week 14) - Racist, annoying, and so very alone. She's alienated herself from her final two friends in this house and we all can only hope that she is going home this week. If Judd hadn't nominated her I'm sure America would've.

-Matt

We hardly knew ye

I believe the Big Brother post eviction walk-out is one of the most telling experiences we as humans can observe. So far we've had a couple good ones. David, his feeble mind unable to comprehend the trauma, walked out in a daze. Nick, similarly walked out shocked, but what was more telling was GinaMarie's meltdown. So how did Jeremy fair in his walk-out? With unexpected class.

Jeremy in his pre-voting speech said "we all know what's going to happen." Like a man sentenced to death, he had come to terms with his mortality within the Big Brother home. He knew that he was out of tricks, not that he really had any to begin with, but his hope was gone. A man without hope can be a dangerous thing. We've all seen players lose it in their dieing moments. Decide that because they're leaving they should lash out in a furry of angst-ridden passive-aggression. Brandon Hantz (from last season of Survivor) had an epic meltdown in which he poured rice into the sand and flipped over what was presumably Phillip's favourite chair. It was great tv, but showed the world that Brandon had no control over his emotions. Similarly, GinaMarie demonstrated, and continues to demonstrate, that she is unable to face mortality even in a "reality" show, I shudder to think how she'll react if something actually tragic happens to her. But Jeremy didn't break down aggressively or emotionally, he tried to play his hand as best as he could, failed, and accepted it.

Jeremy said that "he had changed more in 3 weeks in the house than 3 years outside of it." I don't really believe that. Not because I think he's still a jerk, or a bully, but because I never really thought that to begin with. There's no doubt that he's egotistical, but other than that I don't see where this image of him as a bully is. Granted, I don't watch the 24-hour feed, but from what I saw on the show I think he was placed in an impossible position. Like all the contestants, he was thrown into a powder keg of emotions. Surrounded by people, mostly women, that have no control over their emotions. All of which are scared and confused, in a strange place away from their friends and families, like stray dogs gathered in a cage and told not to fight. It's ridiculous. Jeremy hit the proverbial nail on the head when he said that people perceived him as a bully because he's a big guy. The one scene the editors used to demonstrate his undeniable aggression was a scene in which he took the blame for drinking wine that was being saved for the have-nots. Gasps were heard for miles. Yes, he did do it in a slightly aggressive way, raising his voice and what-not, but he actually was doing it to protect his friends. The line between noble and dick-ish is blurred within the confines of the BB house.

So why did Jeremy go home. Was it simply because these child-like houseguests were frightened by this moderately large man? The go-to reason for his eviction for most people was that he was a "beast" in competitions. I guess his one (veto, that baby one) and a half (him and Aaryn won HOH, and he let Aaryn take it) wins were so dominant that people were terrified by his prowess. I mean if Big Brother starts having bench-pressing or shirt-removing competitions, then his eviction will be warranted, but until then you should be more afraid of the intelligent people with strong memories. This is what always confuses me in this game.

R.I.P. Jeremy "1/16th Cherokee" McGuire

Beast of Competitions

Misunderstood Bully

Survived by one of the few tolerable women left in the house

Where does the "MVP" rank with the worst twists ever?

Every year Big Brother adds a new twist to the game. Sometimes these twists result in jaw dropping moments, sometimes they change the way the game is played. Other times, these twists make me ashamed to be a fan of the show. I think it's pretty clear that the "MVP" has thus far been a terrible idea, but how bad is it compared to other seasons twists? Let's take a look at what I consider to be "The bottom 5" twists in big brother history. We'll rank the twists on a scale of 1-10 in 3 categories, Fairness, Entertainment, and "Twistiness". You may notice that these are from newer seasons. I'll allow you to interpret that data as you like.

#5 BB14: Coaches/ The coaches entering the game.

In this season, 4 veteran players were brought into the game to mentor the current players. If one of their players won, the coach would also win a cash prize. However, after just two live evictions, the coaches were brought into the game to play as regular players instead.

Fairness: 2
This twist was not very fair to anyone involved. First of all, some players got stuck with coaches who were bad for their game (Jannelle, your players would like a word with you) and then the coaches, who were under the impression that they were playing a completely different game had their plans turned upside down. As did everyone else in the house who now had to deal with playing with some of Big Brothers all time greats. Also, bringing the coaches in voided what would have been Franks eviction, which seemed like an attempt to keep Frank in the game from the producers.

Entertainments: 9
This is where this twist shone. Especially after the coaches were brought back into the game. Without Dan playing the entire house the whole season, BB14 would have ended up being rather forgettable. Thanks to Dan and his "mist" we ended up with a fun season.

Twistiness: 2
Twistiness, as in the sense that you've been twisted around... or something. This game started with 12 players, had 1 player evicted on the first day, and another player kicked out in week 2. That means that a game that was played with 14 people the season before would now be played with 10. If you didn't see this coming, you weren't paying attention. It was obvious from episode 1 the coaches were coming in, and the house figured it out. This meant that bringing the coaches in that late in the game was the equivalent of keeping them safe from the first two evictions.

Final score: 13
Did it make for a memorable season? Sure, but you could have just brought the coaches in from the beginning and had the same effect. Love those players, hated the execution of this twist.

#4 BB11 Coup d'etat

This was the second time the Coup d'etat was introduced in BB, but the first time it was used. This power gave someone in the house the ability to overturn both of the HoH's nominees, and replace them with two of their own, right before nominations happened.

Fairness: 0
This was as unfair as you could possibly get. America's favourite player gets to usurp the HoH, and put up whoever he wants. Essentially it said, gameplay, you're not important, what's important is keeping America's favourites in the house. If that's what the producers want they should have stuck with the BB1 format. This twist was actually so unfair, that it Caused Chima's brain to explode, and I'm no Chima appologist, but she had reason to be upset with production.

Entertainment: 5
This was shaping up to be a pretty good season. It was intense, competitive, and entertainting. After the Coup D'etat, it only took a couple of weeks for all of the good players to be out of the game. The final two of this season was by far the worst final two ever. You could have taken any two people from the final 4 and that would still be true. One very entertaining episode resulted in the most anticlimactic season ever. It gains bonus points for showing us Jeff trying to pronounce Coup d'etat.

Twistiness: 8

As I said above, that one episode delivered. We all knew Jeff would get it, but what he did with it was a complete shock, and resulted in one very good episode. When the twist came, it came hard.

Overall: 13
This twist delivered the goods for one episode, and then wrecked the season. It also undermined the entire structure of the game. Let's try and avoid that.

#3 BB11-14, Pandora's box

Fairness: 0
Matt from bb12 once called this "Producers box" because that's exactly what it is. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad. It's generally good when the producers want to lend somebody a helping hand, and bad when they don't. Whether it's giving Rachel and Jordan the ability to both win the PoV, or handing out extra vetos, plently of players have benefited from the Pandora bump.

Entertainment: 5
From time to time, Pandora delivers a good laugh when the game has really slowed down. Who can forget Jeff stuffing his shorts full of cash, or the spectacular fight between Rachel and Ragan. Other times, it's a groaner. It's 50/50, therefore, 5 points.

Twistiness: 3
Sometimes it's a distraction, sometimes it's an unpredictable twist. Most of the time it's an obvious attempt from the producers to spice up the last few weeks.

Overal: 8
Yes, the final weeks need some spicing up, but anytime the producers give their favourites a better shot, I die a little inside.


#2 BB12: The Saboteur

In BB12 we met the saboteur, this persons job was to secretly sabotage the house. Essentially, they were a glorified prankster.

Fairness: 7
Technically, the best thing about this twist was that it didn't affect gameplay. It was a twist that didn't affect nominations, votes, or anything of the sort. It did however give our saboteur a rough ride as she was voted out first. I guess it was self espionage.

Entertainment: 0
This added nothing to the game. It wasn't that fun to watch, it was really just awkward. Luckily, the house took us out of that misery early.

Twistiness: 0
There was nothing shocking about this. There was nothing that made me get out of my seat, or want to see what happened next. At one point they tried to shock the house by naming a new saboteur, but it had mostly the same effect.

Overall: 7
On the plus side, the players actually got to play. So there's that.

#1 BB13: Dynamic duos

This season went along the theme of dynamic duos. The first 8 house guests were paired up, and then they were introduced to 6 returning players, who were all paired up in duos based on their previous games. You were nominated as a pair, and then one of the pair would be voted out, leaving the other to wait until the pairs were split up to continue playing.

Fairness: 0
Part of the problem was that you had no control over who you were paired with. Part of it was that it immediately created a "vets vs newbs" vibe, and the vets had an obvious experience advantage, especially considering they were all competition beasts. Part of the problem was that if your partner was eliminated, you were safe until final 10, which ruined any motivation to stay off the block. Part of the problem was that the newbies they cast were honestly not that great at big brother. The biggest fairness issue was that when the producers wanted to keep their vets around a little longer, they gave Rachel and Jordan the pandora bump by pairing them back up so they could win the veto together. The producers wanted the vets to be the story, and that's what happened. The newbies ended up being the supporting cast, and I feel like they didn't get a fair shake at big brother.

Entertainment: 3
This is mostly personal bias. I was not a fan of bb13. I feel like being in pairs removed a lot of the drama from the game as the pairs never felt the need to stay off the block, they just wanted to eliminate the partner and float through the next couple of weeks. Which was another problem, too many inactive players. In the end, bb13 suffered greatly from treating more than half of their cast like supporting members to the veteran stars.

Twistiness: 3
The moment that the veteran duos first walked through that door was intense, after that, the novelty wore off. The duo twist just resulted in too many players sitting on the sidelines, which is the opposite of an exciting twist. In my opinion, it ruined the season, and was therefore the worst twist to this point.

Overall 6

Big Brother, please, don't pit newbs and vets against each other like this. All stars or newbies, the mixes aren't the way to go.

Honourable mentions
"Till death do you part" bb9
I mostly didn't include this because I don't want to revisit bb9. Those were dark days.

"America's player" BB8
Perhaps the least fair twist ever, as it rigged the entire season for Dick to win, however it gets high scores on entertainment value and twistiness. This is the greatest reunion moment ever.

So what about the current twist?

It's not over yet, so it's hard to put a final judgement on it, but let's just say it doesn't look good. While Elissa can still technically be nominated, as long as she's on the majority alliance, she's safe. She is getting a power that nobody else has access too, and it's not even because she's popular, it's because her sister's popular. It's not entertaining, because, well, to be quite frank Elissa is not very good at this game, and it's not very twisty, because it's so predictable that she gets it every week. I don't know if the producers are happy with the results, but I can't imagine any of the long time fans like myself are.

To cheer myself up, I'm going to watch Jeff say "Coup D'etat" again.

Yup. That hit the spot.

Power Rankings: Week 3

Well, the nominations have been made, so it's time for this weeks power rankings!

1. Spencer (last week: 2) - Tim has to be feeling pretty good this week, because his week one pick is sitting on top of our power rankings! It might not make much sense that the Moving Company is no more, and yet their leader has risen to the top of our ranks, but Spencer continues to demonstrate the qualities necessary to win Big Brother. His instincts (and Helen) told him that it was time to disband his alliance, and he got out without any blood on his hands. That's easier said than done. He's subtle, and he's smart. Fear the beard indeed.

2. Helen (last week: 14) - That is the political consultant we've all been waiting for! In one week, Helen figured out that there was an all-male alliance in the house, convinced two of its members to evict one of their own, and then proceeded to win HoH! It's not always good to win HoH (you'll find last week's winner at the bottom of our list), but Helen seems to be doing a fairly decent job keeping her feet on the ground. Last week we criticized her for only having one friend in the house - Elissa. That seems to have changed drastically. We'll see if it's still the case when she's no longer HoH.

3. Candice (Last week: 6) - Like Spencer, Candice is showing she has the tools to win. She can smile her way through fake apologies. She can demonstrate compassion towards emotional balls of New York angst. She can bite her tongue and she can pick her spots. More importantly, all of her enemies seem to have a very short expiration date in this game, and she's just the type that can sneak to the end. I don't know how long this MVP twist will last, but can you name the two people who would have to be sitting next to her, for her to go home? I can't.

4. McCrae (Last week: 1) - I don't think I've ever smiled so hard, as when McCrae referred to Amanda as his 'Queen'. You can tell McCrae has literally never been in a position to assign a pet-name, but he's swinging for the fences! This season seems more dramatic than most, and McCrae's mellow ways don't seem to yield him much camera time, so it's hard to judge his game. He might have dropped from the top spot, but considering his alliance was abolished, he's doing okay.

5. Amanda (Last week: 13) - Amanda is way up this week. Most of this just has to do with the power swing in the house, and her being on the right side. But she earned all the credit with me she'll ever need when she prophesied for Aaryn what will happen when she leaves the house. You see, we all  know what's coming, because we've seen how the show has been cut, and because...well...we're not delusional, self-absorbed brats. But Amanda hasn't seen the show. Yet, she painted for Aaryn a very accurate picture of what waits for her beyond the Big Brother walls. A storm of opposition against her bigoted ways. And for that, Amanda, I love you.

6. Howard (Last week: 3) - Howard, if this were a list of my favourite people in the house...no... wait...in the world...you would be #1. There is literally nothing I don't love about you. Hopefully the other houseguests feel the same way, and that takes you all the way to the end. But you fell in our rankings because you're a terrible liar, and you pick inopportune moments to lie. That's basically a death sentence in the Big Brother house.

7. Andy (Last week: 4) - Andy has fallen a little bit in our rankings, because people around him are making moves, and he's not. So far, he's an ultimate floater. And usually, around week 4-5, when obvious targets like Aaryn and Kaitlin are gone, people start looking around, saying, "you know who could win this game? Andy!" And when that happens, and nobody has your back, you're done.

8. Elissa (Last week: 15) - Maybe we were a little harsh with you Elissa. Somehow, you aren't the most unlikable person in this house. So points for that. And you definitely get credit for winning MVP every week. But A) Howard is probably going to win MVP soon, because...have you met Howard? And B) If you win a third time, the Big Brother Producers will get rid of MVP. And when that happens, you will need some friends, or the ability to compete.

9. Judd (Last week: 10) - Hello Judd. Other than a comical southern accent, what is it exactly that you do here?

10. Jeremy (Last week: 8) - Maybe the fact that I hate Jeremy is affecting the rankings...But I really hate Jeremy. I'll give him some credit, once Nick walked out the door, Jeremy changed his tune and started sucking up to the other side of the house. He threw Kaitlin under the bus, which was absolutely necessary. But...did I mention I hate Jeremy?

11. Jessie (Last week: 12) - You jumped from one side of the house to the other Jessie. And that's great. I'm glad you feel like your new cohorts 'treat you with respect' and all...But whether you're with the 'good guys' or the 'bad guys', you're on the bottom of the totem pole either way, until you demonstrate some value.

12. Kaitlin (Last week 5) - Kaitlin actually hit the nail on the head this week when she said, "I feel like I'm in high school again but on the other side." You see Kaitlin, that other side is called LIFE! Welcome! Nobody is going to hand you a trophy for painting your eyebrows straight. You're actually going to have to be likeable, or demonstrate some discernible skill.

13. GinaMarie (Last week: 11) - GinaMarie...get ahold of yourself. Maybe you and Nick developed some chemistry while the cameras weren't recording, but the rest of us saw you throw yourself at a dude who wasn't interested at all. And even if he was, he was there for 2 weeks. How attached could you really be? You can't be that emotionally fragile in this game. Not to mention the temper tantrum you threw after his eviction. Do the math. The vote was 7-4. You're swearing vengeance against the people who have the vote. Now is not the time.

14: Aaryn (Last week: 9) - I don't want to waste many words on Aaryn. I'm hoping to leave those for this weeks RIP post. She's the worst player and the worst person. And the two are definitely related.

- Mark

He went before his time.

Oh Nick, Nick, Nick. What to say about you? I'm sad to see you go tonight. Not because of your expert game play, your budding showmance or your ski-jump hairdo. Simply because you were my 'authors pick', and I had higher hopes for you. Let's see where you went wrong, shall we?

The Moving Company was doing pretty well. They weren't in power this week, but Aaryn was controlled by a personal vendetta, keeping Elissa in her cross hairs, and her BFF Helen too. Sure, the MVP (Elissa) nominated Jeremy, but he was a beast during the Veto, even tearing off his onesie in a jouvenile display of primal superiority. All the Moving Company had to do was lay low, and let Elissa put up another girl as a replacement nominee.

And then comes Nick. First of all, let me address the super awkward, confusing proposal Elissa set before Nick. She told him that unless he threw the Veto, she would put him up as a replacement nominee. She also said, that if he did throw it, she would keep him safe, and was hoping for a two week deal. Let's look at how flawed that logic is.

A) Say Nick doesn't throw the Veto, but doesn't win. How will Elissa know he didn't throw it? She didn't say he had to obviously throw it. It is far too common in Big Brother for contestants to lose a competition and then proclaim that they threw it. Riiiggghhht. Because we all know you can sustain your 250 pounds of straight muscle mass on a cardboard popsicle stick.

B) If Nick doesn't throw the Veto, and wins, he could take Jeremy off the block and wouldn't be eligible to be a replacement nominee either. So Elissa wouldn't have any means of repercussion.

Anyway, Jeremy wins the Veto, and Elissa is debating between Kaitlyn and Nick as replacement nominees. She's a sweet person, underneath it all, so she didn't feel right about going back on her "deal" with Nick. Not without at least talking to him first.

And this, my friends, is the conversation that I think single-handedly saw Nick out the door. Maybe that's a little dramatic, but it did seal his fate in terms of nominations. Elissa goes to Nick and says "if I put up Kaitlyn, will you vote her out?" He says yes. Then she asks him, point blank "Would you ever consider voting me out?", in order to figure out where he stands. He takes about the longest sip of water humanly possible, opens his darting eyes as wide as he can, before saying "I don't know. When do you have to know by?" What? Nick! This is not a game of 'let me play mob boss and talk to my people' this is 'you have the power right now, so I'll tell you what you want to hear'!

So Elissa puts Nick up, which is the same thing any self-respecting Big Brother player would do. A series of events transpire before the vote, many of which involve Candice (Mark, your 'authors pick' is looking better every episode!) who was the first to be suspicious of the all male alliance, and Helen, who did a good job of swaying some of the floaters. In the end, it seems Nick's inability to think on his feet got him nominated, but it was his obvious threat-like qualities that made it impossible for people to leave him in the house when they had the perfect opportunity to send him packing.

R.I.P Nick

Loving houseguest, 

Willing showmancer

Survived by a crying ball of New Yorkian Pageantry

-Sam

The Moving Company, and other Alpha Male alliances

Last week MC (The Moving Company) seemed to be running the house. They looked like an unstoppable force. This week, they look vulnerable. They look like an unstable alliance that is in danger of losing its first member in just the second eviction of the season. What changed? To answer that, let's start with a little Big Brother history lesson.

MC was not the first Alpha Male alliance to form in the house. The first came courtesy of Big Brother 5, they were known as The Four Horsemen. They formed the exact same way most early alliances form. Somebody won HoH, and people rallied around him to form an alliance, assuming they would always run the house. The four horsemen were super athletes/ultra competitors Jase and Scott, the oddball Michael (Aka Cowboy) and Drew. Drew was the least interesting Horseman personality wise, but was the key piece in the fate of the alliance. In week one, Jase won HoH and Scott won veto. These two thought they were in charge of the house, and they acted like it. Then something came between the ultimate bromance, females. Jase fell for Holly, who nobody in the house could stand, and Drew formed a showmance with Dianne, who was at the time Jase's arch nemesis. Week 3, Drew wins HoH, sends Holly out the door, further alienating Jase from him, and the rest of the house. Week 4, Dianne takes out Scott. Week 5, the infamous six finger plan, the very first backdoor. Drew teamed up with Dianne and her allies to send Jase out without a chance to compete for veto. Showing that good strategic play can beat competition proficiency every time. While Drew and Michael went on to be the final two, it's hard to argue that The Four Horsemen alliance was still intact beyond week 5.

To find the second alpha male alliance we have to go all the way to season 12. Hayden wins the first HoH, Enzo goes to him with a plan to bring together an alliance of four strong men who have different skills, and can run the house. Hayden, Enzo, Matt, and Lane form The Brigade, and each of them form sub alliances. While people suspected they were working together, everybody thought that they were in a more important alliance with them. Ragan believed Matt was loyal to him, Britney believed Lane was loyal to her, Kirsten believed Hayden was loyal to her, and everybody thought Enzo was just a goofy guy who was getting through. With everyone feeling secure, the whole season became about the house trying to evict Brendan and Rachel, while the Brigade quietly controlled every eviction. The only member to leave early was Matt, and that was still done by the Brigade who no longer felt they could trust him. They dominated that season.

So where does MC fit in? Are they The Horsemen or The Brigade? Last week they looked like Brigade, but now they are shaping up for a Horsemen like collapse. They are allowing love interests and egos to get in the way of their alliance. Jeremy is pulling rank and alienating his allies, in a way that is reminiscent of Jase's fall, and now, after proving to have the worst poker face in the world, Nick is in danger.

If MC wants to regain control of the house they need to continue branching out. They need make sure that they can't be seen conspiring together. They need to remember that winning is not about taking all of the competitions, it's about keeping people around that you control. They made this mistake when they evicted David over Elissa. Yes, David is more likely to win HoH, but he would have been a loyal soldier. Elissa has no reason to stay loyal, and she has a lot of power.

Tonight eviction will come down to Elissa or Nick. Nobody will vote for Helen. There are 11 votes, meaning you need six to stay. They have four guaranteed in the alliance, and GinaMarie.  If they can pull in one more vote, likely Katilin, they are gold. However, I expect to see Candice fighting to pull the veil off of more peoples eyes. How MC handles this eviction could decide if they will be The Horsemen, or The Bridage.

Tim

Omar's Comin'

So here's my take on the game so far. For the more cultured television aficionados you may be familiar with the HBO series "The Wire." If not, you might as well stop reading this post because it will make little sense. I believe that this season of Big Brother is much like the first two seasons of The Wire so far. Now let me justify that egregious statement.

David, the first player evicted, is Brandon. Now for those of you who haven't recently watched The Wire, Brandon is Omar's boyfriend in season one.  Brandon was a nice kid, maybe a little simple-minded and careless, but nice. He was simply looking for love, but got mixed up in the game. He was taken out ruthlessly early on and without warning, sending a message to all those around him, leaving his boyfriend to clean up the mess.

David's partner, Aaryn (Omar), tried to protect her boytoy, but the game is the game. Aaryn understands this, but she feels the way they did David was excessive and sadistic. Now she's out for revenge. Anyone who had anything to do with David's execution is a target. She has two soldiers in her sights now, Elissa (Stinkum) and Helen (Wee-Bey), she'll only take out one, but wound the other.

This makes the Barksdale crew nervous. McCrae (Avon), had power early on. He ran the game briefly, but now he's powerless. He's left impotent on the outside looking in. Jeremy (Stringer) is forced to step up and take the game in his hands. But Jeremy is not only worried about Aaryn, he's also worried about who McCrae has aligned himself with, namely Amanda (Brother Mouzone). This gives Jeremy an idea, make his two enemies fight each other. But who is crazy enough to go after Amanda? Well, Jeremy approaches the craziest person he knows, a person who seemingly has no interest in the game, just revenge. He manipulates Aaryn into believing Amanda was the real mastermind behind how David was done. That she took it too far. That she went beyond the game.

Now is where the game will get really interesting. I believe it will continue to play out like The Wire in that Aaryn will come after Amanda only to discover Jeremy deceived her. This will form a tentative alliance between the two leading to Jeremy's inevitable execution. But remember, it's all in the game, yo.

*Bonus* Here are some supporting characters that are also making appearances:
-Candice (Bubbles); she's in the game, disenfranchised by circumstances beyond her control, but she's wise to the inner-workings.
-Spencer (Bodie); He hasn't had to step up quite yet, but when he does heads will roll.
-Howard (D'Angelo);  He's a big player, but he hasn't decided if he's prepared to get blood on his hands. I believe he will become a liability for the Moving Company and be taken out early on.
-Andy (Marlo); Andy hasn't really even shown up yet, but I think after some of this dust settles down he could be a big threat.
-Judd (McNulty); One word, four syllables; alcoholic.
-GinaMarie (Marla Daniels [Cedric's wife]); I don't have much justification for this one other than they both really annoy me.


-Matt

RIP David

I always feel bad for the first evictee. Still fresh in our minds are those cheesy videos where the guests express their excitement to enter the Big Brother house. They’re thinking about their summer of adventure, friendship, and the pursuit of a half million dollars! But don’t be so quick to unpack, because one unlucky house guest has to be the first one evicted. Often times, this is just bad luck. The first HoH challenge wasn’t really your game, or the ‘in-crowd’ has been decided, and you didn’t make the cut. There’s a certain amount of luck involved in Big Brother, and the first evictee is just the person who drew the shortest straw.

Not this time though. This year our first evictee was David, a 25 year-old lifeguard/surfer from San Diego. He lives with his parents and he has the IQ of a boiled egg. His strategy was to, and I quote, “be myself and let my good looks carry me to the end.” Well, he stuck to his strategy, and it got him a one-week shomance with Aaryn (this week’s HoH who is out for revenge), but it looks like he overestimated the value of his good looks in the Big Brother house.

In his short time in the house, David did make some history. He became the first contestant to fail to spell a word in the spelling competition. Let me be clear...I’m not saying he attempted a word and spelled it incorrectly. I’m saying, when he was asked to reveal the word he spelled, he didn’t have one. Why? Well...remember when you were in fourth grade, and you were stumped by a word on your spelling test, so you looked around the room to see if it was written somewhere on the wall? Well, rather than collect letters and derive a word from what was available like the rest of the house guests, David looked at the Big Brother banner, saw the word ‘Competition’, and thought, “I can’t lose! I have the answer sheet!” Who knew, confining himself to one possible word from the beginning of the competition was a bad idea, and he failed to collect all the letters. But hey! You made history David!

Unfortunately, we’ll have to hear about this boiled egg until his xenophobic girlfriend is evicted, or her blood thirst is quenched, whichever comes first (my money is on the former). Because like I said, she’s out for revenge. You made quite the impression in one short week, David. RIP.

- Mark

Week 2 Power rankings

This is the debut of our Power rankings feature for big Brother 15! We will be ranking the players based more on long term goals in combination with immediate concerns, meaning that just because you're HOH does not necessarily mean you're in the best position in the house. At times it may seem arbitrary, but keep in mind that's because it's still early, and we don't necessarily know some of the house guests all that well yet.

1. McCrae - Week 1 power rankings place the pizza boy McCrae at the top of the list. And to be honest, it wasn’t really close. Do I think he’s going to win? Almost certainly not. But so far, he’s running away with the game, and our hearts. Let’s do a quick pros and cons.

Pros:

McCrae has won the first HoH and the first Veto competition (making him an excellent candidate for this weeks MVP vote). He gained membership to the first real alliance, ‘The Moving Company’, consisting of McCrae and alpha males Jeremy, Howard, Nick and Spencer. And on top of that, despite all odds, he hooked up with the buxom real estate agent, Amanda. That’s about as good a week as someone can have, right? well...

Cons:

He was actually trying to throw the Veto competition. He won because he overestimated the ability of his competitors to spell third grade words, and follow basic instructions (seriously, David didn’t even spell a word, Elissa spelled TWO words, and Candice, who was up for eviction, came to the table with ‘rafts’....really? RAFTS?!?! . His dedication to the pizza boy persona is entertaining, but it will get old. And he suffers from the worst case of verbal diarrhea I have ever seen, and that’s usually a death sentence in the big brother house.

After accidentally winning the Veto, McCrae told us, “I feel like the stupidest smart guy in the house!” I’m still trying to figure out where that puts him in relation to his competition...but he’s right.

2. Spencer - He appears to be running The Moving Company, but is subtle enough about it that the suspicion lies much more on Jeremy and Nick. The Moving Company is running the show right now, and although I'm not sure it can continue to dominate in "Brigade" fashion, there is nothing clearly in their way quite yet. Then again, maybe I'm just biased because Spencer was my episode 1 pick. Fear the beard.

3. Howard - At first, I thought his physicality would make him a target, but he has shown no ability in competitions so far. This is actually a good thing for him, because he is smart and level headed. With the backing of the moving company and his likeability, he should go far.

4. Andy - While Andy does not have a strong alliance at the moment, his conversation with Aaryn showed a lot. It showed he understands the game and understands how people think. He could be a "float to the end" kind of threat,

5. Kaitlin - We haven't seen much of her, but she seems likeable and I don't expect her to be a target any time soon.

6. Candice - Seemed to get in danger last week, but got through it. She's on to the boys alliance, how she handles that information could determine her fate

7. Nick - While he has the Moving Company, and is a smart player, people are on to him. Any time somebody compares you to Dan you know it's trouble. First of all it means you're a target, second of all it means you're probably no Dan.

8. Jeremy - Right now he's the second most powerful man in the house, but in a week or two his hot head will catch up to him. I'm seeing visions of the Moving Company turning on him, much the same way the Brigade turned on Matt.

9. Aaryn - She's HoH now, but watching people awkwardly laugh at bad racist jokes because they don't want to be nominated is painful. Aaryn, you still have 14 competitors, don't make them turn on you because you have a little bit of power!

10. Judd - These next three are floaters who we've barely seen, so will sit at the bottom of the rankings for now.

11. GinaMarie - I think she actually had a line in this episode, yay her!

12. Jessie - I'm pretty sure I saw that same strategy to let somebody know you like them in grade 4. Seriously, the Nick stalking is only going to make things worse.

13. Amanda - I like Amanda, I think she's smart, but if that Veto gets used, or a Moving Company member gets MVP, she is on the block. Low ranking for immediate danger reasons only. If she gets through this week, watch out.

14. Helen - She's on the block and she seems to have alienated herself from the rest of the house. Her alliance with Elissa is dragging her down and I'm not convinced she has the social skills to get herself out of it.

15. Elissa - She has the ability to make people dislike her that her sister had without the ability to win competitions. Her only hope is that the MVP keeps going to her, and the Moving Company continues to keep her around for it. Even if it does work in her favor it is only delaying the inevitable. She will only make it as far as the Moving Company and America will let her. I predict she's out the door in 3 weeks or less.

So far on Season 15

If you're just tuning in, here's what you missed...

16 house guests entered the house, filled with dreams of friendship and community. These hopes were quickly shattered with the announcement of this season's twists. The MVP and third nominee! Gasp. Every week America votes for the newest Most Valuable Player and they get to nominate a third house guest for eviction. The interesting part is the MVP can remain anonymous if they so choose.

Shortly after entering the house the first HoH competition took place. It was a mix of emotion, giant popsicles, endurance and the inevitable admission of  "I threw the competition" after failing 5 minutes in. It is difficult for the big guys to sustain all their muscle mass on the equivalent of a foam pool noodle, so McCrae the scrawny pizza boy takes it. He nominates Jessie and Candice. They both cry.

After the introduction of the MVP twist, Elissa (aka botox schmotox) quickly alerts everyone that she will get MVP because her sister (Rachel Reilley- seasons 12 &13) has a ton of fans and they're the best fans a girl could ask for. Oh, and did I forget to mention? Her sister's a SUPER MODEL. As it turns out, Elissa does get MVP and nominates Hasselhoff... err David. When Jeremy (1/16th cherokee) questions Elissa about whether she did indeed get MVP, she quickly denies it and tells Jeremy she never said such things. Voices were raised.

'Thank you for choosing Pizza Hut' McCrae accidentally wins Veto by correctly spelling an 8 letter word and uses it to save Candice. He then replaces her with Elissa. David ends up going home and Aaryn is crushed, leaving her a fiery ball of blonde going into the HoH competition.

Another endurance competition for HoH has the houseguests transferring BBQ sauce from one bin to another in teams of two. The winning pair, Jeremy and Aaryn have to decide amongst themselves who will be HoH. Aaryn is crowned and her way of determining the have-nots is by calling out everyone she thinks voted for her boyfriend, David.

That's about it. We also learn that Aaryn is an ignorant racist and she nominates Helen and Elissa. Are these two things related? Who knows.


Until next time,

Sam